February 21, 2020
Grace and forgiveness can be an overwhelming emotion if you have difficulty applying it to yourself. Often, individuals with low self-esteem have a habit of blaming themselves and have trouble giving themselves grace.
Guilt can be overwhelming. Sometimes for things in the past, sometimes for words that were not said or words, that were said.
Life is tough; as a child, teenager, adult, parent, friend, and spouse. Life being tough will never change.
I first want to say, going through this transformation is best with a licensed professional, who can be of assistance in each step. Licensed professionals are trained to handle most situations and know the best way to address treatment in your specific case. These tips are not to override anything a professional has suggested for you but rather be an additional tool in your toolbox for healing.
Forgiving yourself is an integrated process. The process can make it difficult to forgive ourselves. If we try to address the part of the process, but not all, the forgiveness will not be whole. Why? Your nervous system. This event, feeling, and belief become embedded in various parts of your brain, and it all needs to be focused on, individually and as a whole. Think about this for a minute; lets say you realize you made a mistake.
For a minute lets say; you got in a car accident because you stayed up all night and someone got hurt. You then regret going out, and you are filled with guilt and suddenly get hot and hit the wall because you are so mad with yourself. This anger travels through you, and you suddenly feel all these emotions and remember all the things that have made you upset at yourself before. Therefore you think, I always mess up.
After it is realized you want to forgive yourself, and you accept that you made a mistake.
You never addressed the belief I always mess up,; what does this mean? It means that you didnt forgive yourself after that your nervous system is still holding onto this.
Letting go of the past can feel unstable. Why? Forgiving ourselves means releasing us from the past, often we identify ourselves from our past. Similarly, when you experience this, you need to grant yourself grace. Habitually, we do not know what pain our actions can cause, even if we know we are causing damage, you didnt know what regret that work would hold. Give yourself grace; we are human. Learn from that event and let go of everything else.
It is vulnerable and scary to see yourself as a human that makes mistakes. As humans, we are wired to survive, so; we attempt to avoid mistakes at all costs. When we do, our instinct is to run from it.
Dont lie; you messed up. Take responsibility, which is out of everyones comfort zone.
You do not learn by being perfect; we are all flawed. We learn and grow by making mistakes and owning them. Every single person makes missteps and has things for which they feel sorry or remorseful. Feeling self-hatred, or pity can be harmful and make it problematic to preserve your self-esteem and motivation.
When confronted with a difficulty with your actions or feelings, emphasis on finding something positive in the situation is imperative. Yes, you might have messed up, but it was a learning experience that can help you make better choices in the future. Train your brain to appreciate the grace and know that your path just lit up to step forward, and your growth is blooming.
When you love someone, isnt it more comfortable to forgive them? When there is trust, love, and confidence in someone else, we can see past their mistakes. A lot of us dont have that grace with ourselves. Isnt that absurd? We are more critical of ourselves and hold ourselves to a higher standard than we do our spouse, friend, family member.
What does that mean? You perhaps dont love yourself as much as you love them. If you dont love and value yourself, some way, you have to get your connection with you to be more encouraging.
What do we gain from forgiving ourselves? Giving yourself forgiveness, you can improve your health and well-being physically, emotionally, and physically. Letting go and giving yourself forgiveness can support your feelings of wellness and improve your confidence, self-worth, and self-love. It is never simple, but working on this form of self-compassion can provide numerous health benefits. In addition to reducing stress, depression, and anxiety, self-forgiveness can also have positive effects on your physical health, relationships, and spirituality.
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I am Tesa Saulmon, I am here sharing my story, experiences, thoughts and motivations, letting people know NOTHING can keep you down, unless you allow it to.