Have you ever listened to a friend and or family member vent, and it feels like youve experienced something traumatic. You get angry at your best friends ex or you want to protect your family from hurt? Have you ever heard something happened on the news and your heart drops and a faint pain goes through your veins? Empathy is a strong emotion but it could be more than empathy.
Secondary Traumatic Stress is a response displayed by individuals who indirectly witness or are exposed to a traumatic event, are impacted, and present symptoms similar to that of PTSD. Secondary Traumatic Stress most frequently affects helping professions (e.g., counselors, nurses, clinicians, emergency response teams, law enforcement, etc.). Though, with the rising amount to influence of the media, Secondary Traumatic Stress can affect the general population according to Administration of Children and Families.
There is very little research on secondary trauma and the general population, and I can only assume this is a result of the lack of research studies due to the difficulty finding populations and applying it to the general population in sensitive times of traumatic events.
On December 6th, 2019; three active military members died during a mass shooting at Naval Air Station Pensacola.
As most know, my family is a military family and my husband is currently in flight school. We are very blessed that Dustin was not in that part of training. But I still felt pain and confusion. I was preoccupied with wanting to know what happened, helplessness consumed me, anger emerged, increased heart rate randomly throughout the day, hyper vigilance when outside my home and I lost my appetite.
Why did I feel all this? Dustin was not on base, and he wasnt in that training facility anymore. But HE WAS
He did attend API
He stood watch there less than a year ago
We have close friends who just finished their training there
We have all thought the worst before
And this was so close to home, and our hearts
As military spouses we try to stay involved with their training as much as possible, we like to be in the know and we support as much as we humanly can.
Military friends become family. Not all get to go home for the holidays, so we spend holidays together. Most are away from loved ones during huge milestones in their Military life, (pregnancies, rank changes, marriages, etc.) so we have each other throughout those milestones. When one is hurt, we all are.
The aviation pipeline is very close, I know if I have a question, they are a call or text away. Although most I dont know but were like friends. Some become lifelong friends, others we cheer throughout the rest of their life through social media or brief thoughts.
That could have been Dustin a year ago, that is scary. It was someones, son, brother, cousin, nephew, friend and acquaintance died in the most heartless inhumane way. We know that it is always a possibility, but we put that in the back of our minds because its too painful to think about.
Then it happens in our area in his program on base where we think its the safest placepossible.
Shock. Tears. Hurt.
So many people have different beliefs and views, especially when it comes to the Military. When tragedy struck, the community put all opinions aside and stood up with open hearts.
Prayers
Blood was donated
Shirts were made for support
Murals
Social Networking Support
And several others supported by offering their services
If we learn nothing else from this tragedy, we learn that life is short and there is no time for hate Sandy Dahl wife of Flight 93 Pilot Jason Dahl
So how do you recover?
Concentrating on self-care diet, exercise and sleep are three things we are in control of, and positive changes can have a positive change to our mental and physical health. I will admit, I have had nightmares since the shooting. Especially since Dustin left for several days the morning of the shooting. It made me feel uneasy.
Journaling How many people journal? Blog? Or write down thoughts? It is so uplifting! Our minds are very chaotic and sometimes extremely overwhelming. Even if it is not consistent, when your mind is overwhelmed start writing, typing, doodling. Youll be amazed how your mood changes.
Pursuing professional help working with a counselor who specializes in trauma to process troubling symptoms and experiences provides additional perspectives and ideas. These are trained professionals that can give knowledge that may otherwise be unknown. Also, counselors can gauge the severity of symptoms and treat accordingly. They can diagnose and treat and work together with a M.D for an optimum treatment plan.
Learning new self-care tactics Yoga, meditation and other spiritual pursuits are considered newer self-care strategies although they have been around for centuries. Trying something new is always exciting and can help overcome hardship in all tragic instances.
Requesting help asking co-workers, friends and family for help, advice or to simply listen. These people care about you sometimes more than you care about yourself. Let them be there for you. They do not know how you are feeling unless you tell them.
Identifying success and creating significance celebrate successes and find meaning. It may feel unbearable to celebrate when you believe you should be sad. The celebration will allow you to grow and move forward with your grief. It sometimes feels impossible to find meaning in tragedy. When my stepsister died at age four, we all asked why. Sometimes we are not meant to know why, sometimes we find out later in life, and that is okay. I like to say, that people go through tragedy to help others in their struggle. Letting people know, youve been through it is a type of significance that is very hard to find. Finding others that have been through similar circumstances can give hope to others. Which is why support groups are very helpful. When is it found, puzzle pieces start coming together. There is purpose in life.
We will never forget 12.06.19.
General Info on Mental Health support for TriCare:
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Naval Hospital in Pensacola Central Appointments at 850-505-7171
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